Hurt
OPENING THOUGHT
Lewis B. Smedes writes,
Carrying a grudge is a loser’s game. It is the ultimate frustration because it leaves you with more pain than you had in the first place. Recall the pain of being wronged, the hurt of being stung, cheated, demeaned. Doesn't the memory of it fuel the fire of fury again? Do you feel that hurt each time your memory lights on the people who did you wrong? Your own memory becomes a videotape within your soul that plays unending reruns of your old rendezvous with pain. Is this fair to yourself, this wretched justice of not forgiving?
The only way to heal the pain that will not heal itself is to forgive the person who hurts you. Forgiving heals your memory as you change your memory’s vision. When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free—yourself.
Everybody hurts. Why is it that some seem to be able to move beyond the pain inflicted upon them while others get stuck in the wrongs they have suffered? Some learn to forgive while others carry their grudges to their graves. Is it possible to recover from the problem of hurt? God's Word has the answers!
EXPLORING THE TEXT
2 Corinthians 4:7-12
What does Paul mean by the phrase “jars of clay”?
“…the wonder of the divine dispensation is that while an earthly treasure is usually preserved in a container of fitting dignity and beauty, the treasure of the gospel has been entrusted to men subject to the infirmities and limitations, the instability and insecurity of their finite condition. It is as though a most costly jewel were encased in an earthenware jar!” (R.V.G. Tasker, The Second Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians, p. 72).
Discuss the four contrasts in vv. 8-9. Can any of us avoid challenges or pain in this life? Do we have to be defeated by our trials?
Paul says that he was “always carrying in the body the death of Jesus” (v. 10). When we are hurt, should we expect the pain to ever completely go away?
Can God give meaning to past hurts and make them worthwhile?
Luke 6:27-31
What kind of hurts does Jesus describe in this passage?
What does he tell us to do for those who hurt us?
What is the Golden Rule? How does this govern our behavior toward those who wrong us?
Luke 23:32-37
What was Jesus’ prayer?
For whom was he praying?
Do you think this was hard for him?
“Is it then hard to do the things with which Jesus illustrates the kingdom heart of love? …It is very hard indeed if you have not been substantially transformed in the depths of your being, in the intricacies of your thoughts, feelings, assurances, and dispositions, in such a way that you are permeated with love. Once that happens, then it is not hard. What would be hard is to act the way you acted before.
When Jesus hung on the cross and prayed, ‘Father, forgive them because they do not understand what they are doing,’ that was not hard for him. What would have been hard for him would have been to curse his enemies and spew forth vileness and evil upon everyone, God and the world, as those crucified with him did, at least for a while.” (Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy, p. 204).
Mark 11:25
What types of wrongs did Jesus say we should forgive?
What types of people did Jesus tell us to forgive?
Is forgiveness optional? What’s at stake?
Forgiveness means “to send the wrongs away.” When we put our faith in Jesus and respond to the gospel, God sends our sins away so that they will not condemn us any longer (Ps. 103:12). When we forgive, we send the hurts we have suffered away from our hearts. How does this help us recover from the wrongs we have suffered?
Is it possible to let go of the bitterness, even if the person who hurt us is not sorry?
