How To Treat a Guest

Paul urged a balance between friends and strangers in Romans 12:13: “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” The first part of his command comes more easily to us than the second. It's natural to pay attention to our friends, learn about their needs, and serve them. It's more difficult to show hospitality to our guests. Guests, by nature, are unfamiliar to us. We are not sure about their needs and interests. Many of us have stumbled over our words in the past and created awkward situations with new people and don't want to go through that discomfort again. We are tempted to gravitate towards the familiar, stay in the safe zone, and avoid visitors. 

We must resist the temptation to upset the balance Paul demands. The Great Commission calls us to reach out and make new disciples (Matt. 28:19-20). We are to follow the example of Jesus, who came to earth to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10). We should look at every visitor who walks through the doors of our church building as an opportunity for fulfilling God’s will. 

How should we treat visitors? Here are a few suggestions that I hope will be helpful. 

In general… 

1. Understand the Great Commission. The Christian’s primary objective is not maintain the traditions or do what's comfortable. We are to grow, make disciples, and bring the gospel to as many people as possible. Therefore we have to get out of our comfort zones. At the very least, we should be hospitable to the guests God sends us during worship and Bible study. 

2. Follow the Golden Rule. Jesus said, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 7:12). You already know how to treat visitors. Just imagine how you would like to be treated if you were in a new place and then do what you would like done for you. 

3. Greet visitors first, then find your friends. More than likely, members will hang around for a while after services are over. But most visitors are out the door within 10 minutes of the closing prayer. That means if you start a long conversation with your friend in the first few minutes after services, you will miss most, if not all, of our guests. 

4. Be helpful. Remember: for guests, everything is unfamiliar. Do what you can to familiarize them with what they need to know in order to have a smooth experience. Make sure they have communion sets. Show them where the classes for their children meet. Help them find a pew. Make sure they know where the bathrooms are. Ask them if there is anything they need. 

5. Don't overwhelm them. Keep the conversation short so others can greet them. Don't ask questions that are too personal. Respect their time. Well meaning people can be overzealous and demanding and do more harm than good. You don't have to say much to make a visitor feel welcome. Tell them your name, ask if there is anything that you can do for them, and welcome them. If they want to talk more, they will let you know. Follow James's advice: be slow to speak, quick to hear (Jas. 1:19). 

For the leaders… 

6. Hand out visitor packets. Have information packets handy to hand out to our guests. This gives them something they can take home and look over after services. This is something we are already doing, but I mention it here because we need to continue the practice. 

7. Develop a system to follow up with our guests. Ask them to fill out the registration form. Use this information to send handwritten cards. Even better, pay them a quick visit the next day, maybe with a small token of our appreciation in hand, such as a loaf of bread or some other simple gift. Follow up should never demand a whole lot of time. But studies have shown that churches who try to show their appreciation for the visit the day after services experience more return visits. 

8. Invite them to lunch or an open home meeting. Hospitality often occurs outside the walls of the church building, over a meal where guests can relax and have more time to converse. Don't be offended if they reject your invitation. They could have other plans or they may not be comfortable with that kind of engagement yet. The important thing is to extend the invitation because that makes them feel special and shows your interest and desire for them to return. 

9. Develop a clear path to membership. The goal for every guest is for them to become an initiated, involved member of our congregation. Are they Christians? If not, have a plan in place to teach them the gospel and baptize them. Are they members of the Lord's church? If so, after the third visit communicate our process for placing membership to them. We can't assume they know how to become a member of our church. If they visit for a long time without anyone explaining our terms of membership, they will assume we're not interested in them and move on to another place. 

Other suggestions could be made, but these will hopefully get our minds focused on our visitors and what a blessing they are. Make an effort. Show hospitality to strangers. No one shows up the church without having a desire to connect with God and his people. Guests are opportunities to please God. Let's treat them that way!

Drew Kizer