From One Visitor to Another
Because I'm a minister, I rarely visit churches away from home. When I do, I'm usually acting in the role of the guest preacher, so I don't receive the same treatment as a typical visitor.
A few weeks ago, however, I was travelling and had the rare opportunity to visit a church as an ordinary visitor. The service was uplifting, and the people were warm and inviting. The sermon was edifying. The singing, beautiful. The worship leaders were well prepared, and I learned a few ideas that might work in our services at home.
Since I rarely attend church as a visitor, I took advantage of the opportunity and paid attention, trying to put myself in the shoes of visitors who come to our congregation. It was an eye-opening experience. I intend on sharing some thoughts from the perspective of the hosting church in another article, but before I do, I would like to share some advice for visitors, whether they are just traveling or looking for a new church home.
1. Arrive early. Expect to feel a little lost walking in. You’re in a new place. It's going to feel different. You're not going to know where the classrooms and bathrooms are. You’re going to have trouble finding a seat. Ask about communion. If they don't pass the plates, look for the communion sets in the lobby. Too many of us arrive two minutes before starting time, expecting everything to go smoothly. When it doesn’t, they blame the church. It’s not the church’s fault when you encounter problems because you failed to arrive on time.
2. Know that your attitude has a lot more to do with your overall experience than you might think. Visiting a church for the first time is like anything else: you get what you put into it. If you look for things to criticize, you will find them. If you look for things to commend, you will see positives. We see what we want to see.
3. Don't allow one awkward interaction to color the whole experience. Churches are public, free-range areas. Everyone is allowed to talk to the visitors. In every church, there are a few people who haven't learned how to make good first impressions. They may come on too strong, or they may be having a bad day and say something rude. We often make judgments based on one bad apple. You wouldn't want someone to judge your church or family that way. Follow the Golden Rule. Do unto the others as you would have them do unto you.
4. Pay attention to what's communicated, not just to the way it's communicated. We're inclined to make snap judgments based on superficial details, such as facilities, audio/video capabilities, and the comfort of this seating. These things are nice, but they are not the first things we should be looking at when evaluating a church. Does the love of Christ dwell there? Do the people worship in spirit and truth? Is the preaching sound? Do the elders shepherd with care and concern? Has there been steady growth? Are the children being raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? After a while, the facilities stop impressing you and these deeper concerns take effect. Don't be blown away by a good show. Look behind the curtain to see what is happening.
5. Be approachable. It's hard to know how much interaction visitors want. Some would rather sit in the background and observe. Others would like to meet new friends and ask questions. Churches want visitors to be comfortable. If you're putting off signals that say, “Stay back! Don't talk to me!” people are going to leave you alone. Where does it say the church should start all the conversations, and visitors get to wait for someone to approach them? If you'd like to meet someone, walk up to him, extend a hand, and introduce yourself.
6. Fill out the registration. Some churches still use cards in the back of pews. Others opt for a digital registration. Even if you're just passing through, fill out the registration. This helps the church follow up on their guests. If you don't feel comfortable giving contact information, at least write down your name. That helps the leaders remember you the next time you visit.
7. If you are looking for a church home, be fair. Don't compare one congregation’s Sunday morning services to another 's Wednesday night Bible study. Everyone's putting their best foot forward during that Sunday morning worship hour. Also, if you are interested in a congregation, be sure you go to all their services at least twice before placing membership. You need to explore the full range of a church’s work before making a decision.
In a consumer society such as ours, we develop a “customer’s always right” attitude, even in church. Churches should work hard to connect with their guests and minister to them, something I want to stress in a future article. But visitors also have a responsibility toward the churches they visit. Concerned Christians everywhere should do their best to find a church home where they can raise their families in a place that will equip them to please the Lord with their lives.
Drew Kizer